Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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