6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize