I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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