Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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