I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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