I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I love you.
Bad choice
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