Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
