I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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