Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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