I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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