it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
