big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
