i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Green mimosas i think yes
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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