im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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