operation harelip BJ is a go
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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