fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
