Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
