Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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