bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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