a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize