it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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