I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
