Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
