ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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