dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
