so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
