The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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