The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
