Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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