is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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