Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
