He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
