Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize