so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
