I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
