He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
