Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
