I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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