Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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