everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
