Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
