I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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