My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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