my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Randomize
