me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
