Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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