Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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