carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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