She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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