i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
