I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
