at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
