im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
