She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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