I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
