What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
