so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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