weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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