tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
