so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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