in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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