I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
